---political correctness of the highest order---
Sunday, June 20, 2004
the "instant ewww"
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...
So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.
Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...?
Have you ever thought to yourself "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...?
Yea, I have too.
Well here's the deal:
If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to backfire.
It's going to trigger a feeling that like to call the "Instant Ewww".
The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.
Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.
It's over.
It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.
Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will start behaving differently.
In short, she'll disappear.
So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"?
I got it from WOMEN.
I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"... of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return.
So what causes the Instant Ewww?
And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?
Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment a you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.
Up until that point, you were harmless.
I mean, women always know how men feel.
She already knew you wanted her.
She knew it from the beginning.
But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.
You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.
In summary...
You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...
Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.
Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.
I mean, If you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice thing for them, they will probably like you more.
On the other hand...
If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.
Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.
In their minds, it goes like this:
Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you
Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.
If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:
She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you like her>She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...
So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.
Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...?
Have you ever thought to yourself "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...?
Yea, I have too.
Well here's the deal:
If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to backfire.
It's going to trigger a feeling that like to call the "Instant Ewww".
The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.
Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.
It's over.
It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.
Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will start behaving differently.
In short, she'll disappear.
So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"?
I got it from WOMEN.
I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"... of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return.
So what causes the Instant Ewww?
And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?
Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment a you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.
Up until that point, you were harmless.
I mean, women always know how men feel.
She already knew you wanted her.
She knew it from the beginning.
But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.
You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.
In summary...
You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...
Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.
Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.
I mean, If you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice thing for them, they will probably like you more.
On the other hand...
If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way, and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.
Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.
In their minds, it goes like this:
Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you
Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.
If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:
She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you like her>She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
