---political correctness of the highest order---
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
here's my namecard...dun call if you've got a life..
barely a couple days left before we bid 2004 goodbye...what's the best way to spend the last few dozen hours before i die of old age...? lets see our options..
1. get arrested for falsely groping bikini clad chicks at countdown parties
2. die of cancer from UV radiation from sentosa
3. get beat up by peers cuz we all know masturbation is above frens
4. get ripped off by various clubs to pay for entry
5. wait for armageddon to justify all the fucked up things you've done
...
..
.
.
.
.
999. die of old age
after *much* deliberation..i realise that there's only one clear option that ensures world peace and happiness; whoever can't tell what it is should be shot in the nuts with armour piercing rounds..
its only logical that the world at large should just stay home, lock their doors, take out porn and masturbate in order to savor the last hours of 2004...i mean, why risk your health by going out and breathing passive smoke or god forbid fresh air???
i've lived to a ripe old age of 23...and if i'm lucky i'll have another 50 odd years left in me...or if i'm really lucky i'll even get to see my great great grandson...take it from an old timer like me...i've seen the world..i know how hazardous it is to leave the comforts of home and expose the body to dirty stuff like 'life', 'friends', 'sex', 'foot massagers' etc.
i've escaped death (or a heavy HEAVY hospital bill) many times, but none as close as the time when i was at sentosa with my geriatric friends (hey..old men can do whatever the fuck they want); i think i musta cheated death 100 times or so...should have died right there and den...
- the heat melted my bones (bones turn to cheese once you're old)
- the sun scorched my cornea (my million degree glassed helped amplify the light)
- the sand was so roughed it tore my wrinkly old skin right off the soles of muh feet
- i coughed blood just breathing the fresh air (old lungs need cyanide instead)
- almost dropped dead from taking more than 10 steps
i realised i'm rambling at this point but what the fuck old men are supposed to ramble about stupid shit all day long right? like how young ppl are little punks or how the gahmen is really stupid and how bout 'how sentosa almost killed me'?
that's right the point is just to bitch that i'm an old man whose prime has past and has nothing else to look forward in life except death..(old men dun have sex)
at the grand old age of 23..makes me wish i was 21 again..where i'm able to do everything that i'm unable to do now at this here old fossil age of 23...
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
1. get arrested for falsely groping bikini clad chicks at countdown parties
2. die of cancer from UV radiation from sentosa
3. get beat up by peers cuz we all know masturbation is above frens
4. get ripped off by various clubs to pay for entry
5. wait for armageddon to justify all the fucked up things you've done
...
..
.
.
.
.
999. die of old age
after *much* deliberation..i realise that there's only one clear option that ensures world peace and happiness; whoever can't tell what it is should be shot in the nuts with armour piercing rounds..
its only logical that the world at large should just stay home, lock their doors, take out porn and masturbate in order to savor the last hours of 2004...i mean, why risk your health by going out and breathing passive smoke or god forbid fresh air???
i've lived to a ripe old age of 23...and if i'm lucky i'll have another 50 odd years left in me...or if i'm really lucky i'll even get to see my great great grandson...take it from an old timer like me...i've seen the world..i know how hazardous it is to leave the comforts of home and expose the body to dirty stuff like 'life', 'friends', 'sex', 'foot massagers' etc.
i've escaped death (or a heavy HEAVY hospital bill) many times, but none as close as the time when i was at sentosa with my geriatric friends (hey..old men can do whatever the fuck they want); i think i musta cheated death 100 times or so...should have died right there and den...
- the heat melted my bones (bones turn to cheese once you're old)
- the sun scorched my cornea (my million degree glassed helped amplify the light)
- the sand was so roughed it tore my wrinkly old skin right off the soles of muh feet
- i coughed blood just breathing the fresh air (old lungs need cyanide instead)
- almost dropped dead from taking more than 10 steps
i realised i'm rambling at this point but what the fuck old men are supposed to ramble about stupid shit all day long right? like how young ppl are little punks or how the gahmen is really stupid and how bout 'how sentosa almost killed me'?
that's right the point is just to bitch that i'm an old man whose prime has past and has nothing else to look forward in life except death..(old men dun have sex)
at the grand old age of 23..makes me wish i was 21 again..where i'm able to do everything that i'm unable to do now at this here old fossil age of 23...
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
