---political correctness of the highest order---
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
**the e|even¹¹ phuture**
someone once said i had the uncanny ability to read the future...he's dead now after i predicted i'd bash his face in with a brick..poor guy..
anyway since the ex 'ablility foreseer' said i could read the future..i might as well put that skill to good use.......like predicting winning lottery numbers, stock markets and heck for the fun of it, whether the COE for cars will go down any further...
but since humans are fucking retarded by nature...i'd be better off predicting stuff like which direction the sun will rise from, or when's the next time someone's gonna tell me to shut the fuck up..
at least its good for something no?
Prediction #1: Men will finally play out their predetermined roles
smart people exist...then there's the fucking smart people...and right at the top of the herd are the fucking geniuses...white haired men with thick mustaches who received nobel prizes like a malay receives insults from me...
and chances are these geniuses lack a life being cooped up in their labs all the time figuring out how to turn fart into nuclear weapons..so naturally these geniuses will lack any sort of sex life understandably..and proceed to create a new pill that makes the eater irresistable to women for a few hours. these scientific breakthroughs will be mass produced and sent to pharmacies labelled as "anti-depressants" to avoid the legal barriers. women who ingest the pill will find men behaving exactly the same as they have all life long and therefore will never buy it...the horny bastards!
Prediction #2: People turn into even more moronic idiots
civilization has never seen such acceleration in progress and many stupid induhviduals have taken it for granted...and they're right! we already employ others to do all our daily stuff, from answering phones to cooking our meals. in the future, we'll have fucking devices to wipe our sorry asses after a crap; and before you think its still hard work to walk to the friggin' bathroom, technology will make the toilet bowl walk right to you, pull ur fucking pants down and aim ur asshole down its throat.
people will need computers for everything..and i fucking mean EVERYTHING! thus relegating humans into sub optimal fleshy lumps of crap that breathe air only cuz its neccessary. nah fuck it! those super geniuses will invent something that'll let machines do the breathing for us. all we do is lie in bed all day while making millions of cyber dollars.
Prediction #3: Men will rule the world
a lot of stupid people will counter this point by saying "all top positions with actual power are held by men already". i proceed to brutally beat them down and gently explaining simple math to them.
the top positions in the world are filled by only 0.0000000001% of all the men in the world combined, which leaves the remaining 99.999999999% of us with shitty jobs selling our asses for others. and while the 99.9999999999% of us are busy slogging our balls off, what are the women doing? 99% are spending the little money we earn and the other 1% are doing the same menial jobs like the 99.999999999% of us. do the math. who rules the world now?
after the aforementioned scientists invent their 'anti depressant', men automatically rule the world. no more pandering to stupid lame requests, no more playing nice guy roles and no more politically correct bullshit. men no longer have to take shit from women cuz they've got their trusty anti depressants in their pockets if they ever need a fuck
Prediction #4: Abolishment of manners
manners are a threat to humankind. manners interfere with our everyday lives. manners force us to do things more painful than taking a brick in the ass. basically, manners suck.
women are the stupid creatures who invented manners. they created all sorts of nonsense like 'holding doors open' and 'picking ones nose in private'. they're the morons who invented words like 'gentleman' and 'demeanor'. not convinced? lets use simple elimination to determine who the fuck invented manners.
which is more likely? a guy digs out an enormous booger from his nose while in front of his guy friend, girl friend and house pet. who do you think is gonna be the one that squeals "eww! that's like soo disgusting la!"? we'll safely cross out the other guy cuz he'd be busying adjusting his underwear so that leaves the woman and the house pet.
chances are the house pet doesn't give a fuck whether its a booger or food and proceeds to eat it up anyway. (hamsters eat their own fucking shit by the way) hence we've got our answer...fucking females!
after men take over the world, the first thing to go will be manners. anyone that isn't happy with his boss will just tell him to eat shit and die, and the boss can't fire the bugger cuz every other employee will be telling him to eat shit and die too. if i don't like someone, i just tell him he's fucked up! no consequences! (i do these sort of things presently, which just shows we're already a step in the right direction!)
gawd i'm a fucking genius!!
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
anyway since the ex 'ablility foreseer' said i could read the future..i might as well put that skill to good use.......like predicting winning lottery numbers, stock markets and heck for the fun of it, whether the COE for cars will go down any further...
but since humans are fucking retarded by nature...i'd be better off predicting stuff like which direction the sun will rise from, or when's the next time someone's gonna tell me to shut the fuck up..
at least its good for something no?
Prediction #1: Men will finally play out their predetermined roles
smart people exist...then there's the fucking smart people...and right at the top of the herd are the fucking geniuses...white haired men with thick mustaches who received nobel prizes like a malay receives insults from me...
and chances are these geniuses lack a life being cooped up in their labs all the time figuring out how to turn fart into nuclear weapons..so naturally these geniuses will lack any sort of sex life understandably..and proceed to create a new pill that makes the eater irresistable to women for a few hours. these scientific breakthroughs will be mass produced and sent to pharmacies labelled as "anti-depressants" to avoid the legal barriers. women who ingest the pill will find men behaving exactly the same as they have all life long and therefore will never buy it...the horny bastards!
Prediction #2: People turn into even more moronic idiots
civilization has never seen such acceleration in progress and many stupid induhviduals have taken it for granted...and they're right! we already employ others to do all our daily stuff, from answering phones to cooking our meals. in the future, we'll have fucking devices to wipe our sorry asses after a crap; and before you think its still hard work to walk to the friggin' bathroom, technology will make the toilet bowl walk right to you, pull ur fucking pants down and aim ur asshole down its throat.
people will need computers for everything..and i fucking mean EVERYTHING! thus relegating humans into sub optimal fleshy lumps of crap that breathe air only cuz its neccessary. nah fuck it! those super geniuses will invent something that'll let machines do the breathing for us. all we do is lie in bed all day while making millions of cyber dollars.
Prediction #3: Men will rule the world
a lot of stupid people will counter this point by saying "all top positions with actual power are held by men already". i proceed to brutally beat them down and gently explaining simple math to them.
the top positions in the world are filled by only 0.0000000001% of all the men in the world combined, which leaves the remaining 99.999999999% of us with shitty jobs selling our asses for others. and while the 99.9999999999% of us are busy slogging our balls off, what are the women doing? 99% are spending the little money we earn and the other 1% are doing the same menial jobs like the 99.999999999% of us. do the math. who rules the world now?
after the aforementioned scientists invent their 'anti depressant', men automatically rule the world. no more pandering to stupid lame requests, no more playing nice guy roles and no more politically correct bullshit. men no longer have to take shit from women cuz they've got their trusty anti depressants in their pockets if they ever need a fuck
Prediction #4: Abolishment of manners
manners are a threat to humankind. manners interfere with our everyday lives. manners force us to do things more painful than taking a brick in the ass. basically, manners suck.
women are the stupid creatures who invented manners. they created all sorts of nonsense like 'holding doors open' and 'picking ones nose in private'. they're the morons who invented words like 'gentleman' and 'demeanor'. not convinced? lets use simple elimination to determine who the fuck invented manners.
which is more likely? a guy digs out an enormous booger from his nose while in front of his guy friend, girl friend and house pet. who do you think is gonna be the one that squeals "eww! that's like soo disgusting la!"? we'll safely cross out the other guy cuz he'd be busying adjusting his underwear so that leaves the woman and the house pet.
chances are the house pet doesn't give a fuck whether its a booger or food and proceeds to eat it up anyway. (hamsters eat their own fucking shit by the way) hence we've got our answer...fucking females!
after men take over the world, the first thing to go will be manners. anyone that isn't happy with his boss will just tell him to eat shit and die, and the boss can't fire the bugger cuz every other employee will be telling him to eat shit and die too. if i don't like someone, i just tell him he's fucked up! no consequences! (i do these sort of things presently, which just shows we're already a step in the right direction!)
gawd i'm a fucking genius!!
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
