---political correctness of the highest order---
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Facebook is a magnet for idiots
Its been slightly under a year since the last post. I have Facebook and all other forms of social media to blame for the dearth of actual literary pieces, which encourages the Y (or is it Z now) Generation to post random bullshit garble status updates which add zero meaning to anybody's existence.
Here are the top 3 most annoying types of FB attention whores who are reducing the oxygen levels on Earth one stupid fucking post at a time:
1. The Holy Shaker
Look, I get it. Some people out there scope their life around their religion. I get that. I think its commendable. I also think they should shut the fuck up. Nobody gives a fuck that you want to thank God Almighty for sunny weather, neither was ever a fuck given that you hope the Lord blesses your sorry ass today. If you actually made something worthwhile of yourself, you wouldn't need to constantly beg for God's blessing because you're damn worthy of His blessings in the first place. You know what I do when I want to talk to God? I pray. I just shut the fuck up, find a quiet place and pray. When I play football and its nice sunny weather, I thank God in my mind and smile. I don't need to televise my fucking faith on Facebook in a pathetic attempt to show everyone that "I'm-so-religious-OMG-I'm-so-blessed". Its like those dickhead bosses who demand everyone in their fucking company pray with them because he's the boss and everyone should conform to him. Jesus puts on earplugs each time one of these fuckers go holy limit break over their religion. You believe in God, fantastic. Keep your faith inside and glorify Him with your prayers & church attendance. The satanic devil-spawns on Facebook don't give a fuck.
2. The Emo Bitch
Once again fueling my contempt for people at large, these cum buckets constantly post emo bullshit fluff every single fucking day, never deviating from the same topic: Unrequited love, hurt & depression. These fucktards post one-liners questioning the value of love, and how their feelings are so important it can cure cancer. Typically, they comprise of stupid bitches who may or may not be 15, but have the mental maturity of a 6 year old. They've been hurt by a guy at some point and now their whole fucking existence hinges on how the male population views them, and hence all their whiny fucking emo tirades in a lousy attempt to let the guy in question see how "broken up" they are. No wonder the guy ran off to some other less whiny slut; his penis couldn't get halfway in before you started naming your babies.
3. The Food Cam-whores
No seriously, your plate of char kway teow looks so fantastic that you need to snap a photo just to put it online? Even worse, your friend's dessert looks so fucking delicious that you forbid everyone from touching their food just so you can find that perfect angle to grab a snapshot, check everyone into that location, and tag every motherfucker known to man just so they can see a picture of a brownie topped with a scoop of vanilla. Unless you're a fat tub of lard, nobody gives a rat's ass about pictures of food on Facebook. Know where I can get really awesome pictures of food? A cookbook. Everyone loves pictures, but mainly pictures of people, especially good looking people such as myself, even more so if its good looking people such as myself doing something stupid in a picture. Or bikinis. Females-in-bikinis. Everyone loves a good picture of girl(s) in bikinis. Or pirates. Not food. Girls think its cute, guys do it because girls think its cute. Its not. Its stupid, its gay. I have to throw rocks at kittens each time I see a picture of food to regain a bit of my manliness back.
Fuck Facebook idiots!
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
Here are the top 3 most annoying types of FB attention whores who are reducing the oxygen levels on Earth one stupid fucking post at a time:
1. The Holy Shaker
Look, I get it. Some people out there scope their life around their religion. I get that. I think its commendable. I also think they should shut the fuck up. Nobody gives a fuck that you want to thank God Almighty for sunny weather, neither was ever a fuck given that you hope the Lord blesses your sorry ass today. If you actually made something worthwhile of yourself, you wouldn't need to constantly beg for God's blessing because you're damn worthy of His blessings in the first place. You know what I do when I want to talk to God? I pray. I just shut the fuck up, find a quiet place and pray. When I play football and its nice sunny weather, I thank God in my mind and smile. I don't need to televise my fucking faith on Facebook in a pathetic attempt to show everyone that "I'm-so-religious-OMG-I'm-so-blessed". Its like those dickhead bosses who demand everyone in their fucking company pray with them because he's the boss and everyone should conform to him. Jesus puts on earplugs each time one of these fuckers go holy limit break over their religion. You believe in God, fantastic. Keep your faith inside and glorify Him with your prayers & church attendance. The satanic devil-spawns on Facebook don't give a fuck.
2. The Emo Bitch
Once again fueling my contempt for people at large, these cum buckets constantly post emo bullshit fluff every single fucking day, never deviating from the same topic: Unrequited love, hurt & depression. These fucktards post one-liners questioning the value of love, and how their feelings are so important it can cure cancer. Typically, they comprise of stupid bitches who may or may not be 15, but have the mental maturity of a 6 year old. They've been hurt by a guy at some point and now their whole fucking existence hinges on how the male population views them, and hence all their whiny fucking emo tirades in a lousy attempt to let the guy in question see how "broken up" they are. No wonder the guy ran off to some other less whiny slut; his penis couldn't get halfway in before you started naming your babies.
3. The Food Cam-whores
No seriously, your plate of char kway teow looks so fantastic that you need to snap a photo just to put it online? Even worse, your friend's dessert looks so fucking delicious that you forbid everyone from touching their food just so you can find that perfect angle to grab a snapshot, check everyone into that location, and tag every motherfucker known to man just so they can see a picture of a brownie topped with a scoop of vanilla. Unless you're a fat tub of lard, nobody gives a rat's ass about pictures of food on Facebook. Know where I can get really awesome pictures of food? A cookbook. Everyone loves pictures, but mainly pictures of people, especially good looking people such as myself, even more so if its good looking people such as myself doing something stupid in a picture. Or bikinis. Females-in-bikinis. Everyone loves a good picture of girl(s) in bikinis. Or pirates. Not food. Girls think its cute, guys do it because girls think its cute. Its not. Its stupid, its gay. I have to throw rocks at kittens each time I see a picture of food to regain a bit of my manliness back.
Fuck Facebook idiots!
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??
-e|even¹¹-
